You won't feel alone reading Eli Rallo's newest book: Does Anyone Else Feel This Way?

As a newly turned 25-year-old, I already feel like I've lived through enough growing pains within the last year. According to Carolina Counseling Services, I'm entering the age where my so-called "quarter-life crisis" could begin. An average of 2 years of my life that will be filled with more confusion, self-doubt, and drastic changes. 

I often question if I am living my life up to the standards I placed upon myself. Like if I should be more focused on my career than my hobbies, making more money, creating the "prettiest" version of myself with the best face & hair products, or many more ridiculous pressures I can't change overnight.

While I continued to spiral deeper into my self-critical thoughts, I came across a post on Instagram that sparked hope. Eli Rallo announced her upcoming book, Does Anyone Else Feel This Way? (DAEFTW) Essays on Conquering the Quarter-Life Crisis. 

Eli is a published writer and journalist who shares her honest advice and real feelings on the page as well as on her social media platforms. After reading her first book, I Didn't Know I Needed This, I realized she was just someone figuring out life day by day. No matter how put-together someone may look on the outside, they are also living life for the first time. 

Almost two years had passed, and I was due for another advice session with the girl willing to lay all her deepest thoughts and feelings on the page. I opened up DAEFTW and immediately felt seen. 

Many of the trending novels are filled with adventure or romance, and it's rare to come across one that changes the way you think. This is what has happened to me after reading each of Eli’s books. I close the back cover and immediately think about who I need to share this with. If I can get so much from Eli’s words, who else can benefit from them as well? Who else needs some advice from the “big sister” they never had?

Within this book, Eli shared her own experiences and advice on many sensitive topics. A few that struck me the most were her thoughts on our need to have a great presence on social media, failing at adulting, and feeling stuck in a big ole funk.

Social media has set unrealistic standards for us all. It has many times made me feel like I needed a boyfriend so I could be seen as "wanted," insecure about my acne flare-ups, unstylish, and in need of a full-blown makeover to fit in. If I was doing something "cool" or had a good hair day, it needed to be documented on Instagram. 

Eli stated, “even if you are trying to be something or someone on Instagram, even if you are trying to be seen in a certain light—people will see you however they see you. But if you are trying so hard to be seen in a certain way, they won’t actually be seeing you, just a curated facade.”

I'll be honest, nothing has changed about my habits since I've read this book—I spent way too much on those trending Paragon leggings so I could show off a hot new set on my story. However, I have become more mindful of why I feel the need to compare myself to strangers on the internet and show the most perfect version of myself.

I believe my adult life started at 21. I had always longed for the best job that would take me all around the world. But nothing happened until I went out and applied for a job that would guide me in that direction.

Rallo wrote, "if you build the life you want, the life you like, the life you actually enjoy—your comfort, your belonging, your peace will come too." 

As a 4-year-old-adult, I've chosen my own job, my own apartment, and my own travel schedule based on a job that I've come to love. Nothing will come from sitting and wishing for your life to get better, but something can come from doing the work and finding out what brings you the most joy. 

Of course, I am not perfect at adulting. Nobody really is. I have no plan, I've got nothing in my savings account, I am forgetful, but I continue to live my life for myself the best I can. In a way that focuses on making me happy before anyone else.

You're not alone in your funk; I'm in the middle of one too. After I graduated from college, I have seen some of my friends move for a new job, buy houses, travel the world, and some have gotten married and have had children. All of this has happened while I've sat here and wondered if I am running behind in life. I don't have a consistent passion or favorite hobby, I don't have a boyfriend, and I have no plans to find a higher-paying job to feed my travel bug.

Why are we putting this unnecessary pressure on ourselves to be 25 and already settled into life? We have gotten so hard on ourselves to have our entire life plan figured out. Feeling like we must have our dream job, bank accounts full, a romantic partner, and more. No wonder we get upset when one thing doesn't go to plan. We have forgotten to just enjoy life.

Eli wrote, "your ambition does not need to be decided to live a big, good life full of everything you deserve. You are not what you accomplish...(feeling like you're missing that spark) is simply a signal, telling you that you deserve better for yourself. And making that better, creating that better, starts with us."

She has reminded me that it's okay to feel lonely and to try new things, even if I’m not good at it. That making mistakes is okay. Most importantly, she has taught me that it's not necessary to have my whole life planned out in my mid-20s.

For more wise words by Eli Rallo, visit your local bookstore when Does Anyone Else Feel This Way? releases on 10/14!